The challenge you face with all of these influencers is in knowing when to ask, when to listen, when to be open and when to walk away. How can you begin to address this challenge? Stop and ask questions about your influencers and clarify their value as applied to where you want to go next. Practice being mindful each day and in each encounter, so you can better determine the value you are or are not receiving from their influence.
4 Steps to Get Started
1. List. Taken an inventory of who or what surrounds you. Include daily and occasional influencers.
Remember that these need not be with you physically; they can be in your thoughts and experiences. Consider both positive and negative influencers and people, places and things. It may take awhile to figure this out, so take your time and think about it a little every day.
2. Evaluate. Look at them from many angles, and try to be objective.
Reframe people, things and situations to see what you may be misinterpreting or misunderstanding.
Consider if an influencer really brings the value you need. I am not suggesting that you drop people or things, but sometimes you need to reframe and look differently at the value someone or something brings. Sometimes this means putting their influence aside for a while.
3. Determine what or who is missing.
Consider things, places, situations and people. Sometimes a change of influence is a good thing.
4. Open yourself up to unexpected influencers daily.
Make it your goal to look differently at a person or situation and determine if there is more to what you see. The person you miss or dismiss or the activity you are hesitant to participate in may end up putting you in the path of an unexpected benefit, so keep your options open.
Your influencers affect your success. Stop and recognize who or what they are, and understand the role they play in your life. Looking at things differently and taking small steps each day is how to best make changes that take hold. At the end of each day, you are the only one who can change yourself, but you do not need to do it alone.